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Cory Angen
The Crows
On February 16th, 2021 I decided to watch all three of the very questionable sequels to the 1994 cult classic The Crow followed by watching the entire 90s TV series in March fo 2023 and concluding with the 2024 reboot . Here is a compilation of general plot points and my various musings about the general goings on of each individual entry. Please enjoy this recount so you don't have to suffer through them yourself.

Enjoy!


Rankings*
  • 01. The Crow [94]
  • 02. City of Angels
  • 03. Stairway to Heaven
  • 04. Salvation
  • 05. The Crow [24]
  • 06. Wicked Prayer

The Crow

Obviously the best of the bunch. The noir vibes are unmatched and Brandon Lee's performance is great (though it is hard to judge with all of the backstory surrounding the production). It's overdramatic in all of the best ways and stylistic as fuck. I understand if it's not everyone's cup of tea, but it does a pretty solid job of sticking true to the source material while also carving its own lane. 

Notes:
  • The noir version of Detroit is a wonderful setting. It feels otherworldly but not in an romantic kind of way.
  • The Black Ghostbuster is the perfect ally and does a great job of grounding the otherwise fantastical story and characters.
  • If you're a fan of 90s industrial rock, this soundtrack is going to be hard to beat (and while later installments tried, none could).
  • The dialogue is definitely cheesy at times, but in a way that makes sense with the rest of the world they've built to surround it.
  • Sets a great stage for what should have been some interesting later installments that could just never live up. Which is a shame.

    • Ranking: 1/6

    The Crow: City of Angels

    The only direct sequel to the original with one sole character bleeding over. Having the titular character revenging his son instead of girlfriend is a nice change of pace from the rest of the sequels and gets brought back on Día de Muertos is another nice spiritual connection. That's about where the praise ends. It's pretty fun through the first 2/3 and it could've been decent, but the last 20 minutes are just not good.   

    Notes:
  • Starring Mia Kirshner (of Not Another Teen Movie fame) playing an adult Sarah from the original.
  • The noir vibes of this dystopian LA (I think?) and the soundtrack are nice attempts at capturing the feel of the original, but feel incredibly forced.
  • An early career performance from The Deftones is a very cool detail.
  • Crow flies by some palm trees as the spontaneously explode to the sounds of I'm Your Boogieman by White Zombie. Art.
  • "FUCK YOU, BIRD DICK!" is yelled by a henchman played by Iggy Pop yells as he speeds away on a motorcycle. More high art.
  • It does a valid attempt trying to honor the original, but just doesn't live up (and how could it?).

    • Ranking: 2/6

    The Crow: Salvation

    The first entry from the new millenium and we've got a young Kirsten Dunst in a starring role (amongst other would be well-recognized characters as we move into the later 2000s). Another lackluster ending where he kind of just disappears. Better acting and production values than City of Angels with some fun appearances, but definitely a step step down in story and execution. 

    Notes:
  • Getting some shitty, late Halloween sequel vibes from these opening credits and that seems fitting.
  • We're back to revenging the girlfriend, but it looks like The Crow is being set up as the one who killed her.
  • The girlfriend's dad is Faulkner from Bio-Dome! Looking much less grisly.
  • He gets his scars from the execution mask that fused to his face because there was a lightning strike just as they flipped the switch. The mask was cooler. He looked like Mankind (pre-Mr Socko).
  • The second movie had heroin that killed everyone and a kid got shot in front of his dad, but there wasn't any rape, so it's honestly been the easiest to stomach so far.
  • The girlfriend was stabbed her 53 times by 4 men and the cops said it was an accident. Good to know all cops are still bastards in this reality.

    • Ranking: 4/6

    The Crow: Wicked Prayer

    A resurrected ex-con (Edward Furlong, T2) who gets revenge for him & his girlfriend (Emmanuelle Chriqui, Entourage) who were murdered by a group of Satanists believing they're the new Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse (David Boreanaz, Bones, Tara Reid, Van Wilder & Tito Ortiz of UFC fame. Premise and cast sound insane and it could’ve been fun, but it just wasn’t. The ending wasn't great, but honestly makes the most sense of the three sequels. Its mess of a story, very stupid motives, not much character development in anyone let alone the titular character. Definitely the worst of the series. 

    Notes:
  • Danny Trejo plays the girlfriend’s dad. Best casting in the whole thing by a long shot.
  • Instead of a gothic-sounding voice-over to start the movie, we get Western-style text blocks telling us the backstory.
  • The least famous of the "Horseman" is Tank from The Matrix and apparently his brothers were killed in the town mine (Dozer being one of them, I imagine).
  • Booth’s motive is "Father murdered by an Indian" so I'm sure the future cultural overtones will be subtle and tasteful (spoiler: it's not).
  • So many unnecessary connections between all of these characters making the plot overly complicated for what’s going on.
  • The first time The Crow has looked less intimidating once dressing the part.
  • Since all of the bad guys consider themselves the Four Horsemen, they all go by those names, so the dumb name trend continues.
  • Protagonist names have also been interesting throughout. Draven, Corvus, Corvis and now Cuervo. (Corvus is the genus name for crows & ravens and cuervo is crow in Spanish). That's kind of neat.
  • Dennis Hopper shows up as a character named El Niño and drops the line, “So what's gonna be, homie? You wanna be Satan or what?"

    • Ranking: 6/6

    The Crow: Stairway To Heaven

    Starring Mark Dacascos of Iron Chef fame as the titular character, the first episode is basically the whole movie except that Eric doesn’t die at the end and collects all of Top Dollar’s kill trophies, leading to the plot of the rest of the series of him solving those people’s murders. There are some interesting episodes and a tease of a spin-off featuring a female version of The Crow that never materialized. It’s a solid attempt to make an episodic version of the source material, but it’s just not the same without him killing the bad guys. If they were to have made this show in the last 10 years on a better network & were able to do a more faithful adaptation, I think it would've been a lot more successful..

    Notes:
  • The gang of bad guys have the same names as the crew from the first movie, but none of the swagger. Shame.
  • The facial markings aren’t permanent? They seem to come and go as he gets angsty? That’s a new take.
  • Eric’s monologues aren’t nearly as heartfelt as Brandon Lee made them out to be in the movie. Lots of similarities, but only half the heart.
  • The soundtrack is actually pretty decent throughout with an early Linking Park song before they even had that name.
  • It’s all just a little too light hearted. Eric in the movie had some snarkiness to him, but this one is crackin' wise like the 90s Spider-Man cartoon.


    • Ranking: 3/6

    The Crow

    With all of the prior experience with the franchise, I tried going in with an open mind, but it didn’t take long for those expectations to be shot all the way down. I understand trying to bring it into a more modern setting, but it being set in Any City, USA with absolutely no noir vibes to be found anywhere is a big letdown. If they would’ve just added a vaguely poetic subtitle and released this to a streaming service, I would be less harsh. Calling it The Crow and giving it a theatrical release does a disservice to the original.

    Notes:
  • Starts off with way too much backstory that isn’t needed whatsoever.
  • The main baddie is some kind of supernatural entity as well. Almost giving Stairway to Heaven vibes.If Michael would just speed up his walking, things would escalate a lot quicker.
  • There’s some spiritual advisor that Eric meets in purgatory who tells him the lore of The Crow. It makes sense to give him some context, but it also feels unnecessary.
  • Using a sword is a nice callback to the graphic novel, but being overtly gory on the kills and over-the-top action sequences don’t make it a better time.
  • Skarsgard’s hair and makeup makes him look similar to the kid from the 3rd one which isn’t necessarily a good thing.
  • Takes way too long to get into the revenge killing and before you know it, we’re already at the climax. Just awful pacing throughout.
  • None of the bad guys or henchmen had stupid nicknames, which is a first for the franchise and a bit of a bummer to be honest.
  • Still not quite as bad as Wicked Prayer, but also very much not good.


    • Ranking: 5/6

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