On February 16th, 2021 I decided to watch all three of the very questionable sequels to the 1994 cult classic The Crow. What follows in a compilation of tweets sent during this marathon including general plot points and my various musings about the general goings on of each individual movie. Please enjoy this recount so you don't have to suffer through them yourself.

Enjoy!

The Crow: City of Angels

First up is the direct sequel 'City Of Angels'. Written by David Goyer, starring Mia Kirshner as an adult Sarah (the girl from the first one) living in a very noir, dystopian LA (I think) and featuring Iggy Pop is one of the henchmen.
— Just Cory (@coryangen) February 16, 2021

Dude runs a garage in a shitty part of dystopian LA and has been dead for an undisclosed amount of time, but he's still got a Ducati motorcycle just waiting for him to cruise around on. Sure. #TheCrow #CityOfAngels
— Just Cory (@coryangen) February 16, 2021

Nemo (played my Thomas Jane) gets killed while wearing an awful wig (that is shown to be an awful wig…?) in a jerk off booth. Iggy Pop can't throw a fake punch to save his life. #TheCrow #CityOfAngels
— Just Cory (@coryangen) February 16, 2021

Apparently set on Día de Muertos. A nice little piece of spiritual continuity from the first one. #TheCrow #CityOfAngels
— Just Cory (@coryangen) February 16, 2021

She's also the one that pulled the trigger on killing The Crow's son. When confronted she asked him, "Do you know how to fight?" to which he responded, "Do you know how to die?" This is the dialogue I'm hear for. #TheCrow #CityOfAngels
— Just Cory (@coryangen) February 16, 2021

"FUCK YOU, BIRD DICK!" Iggy Pop yells as he speeds away on a motorcycle. #TheCrow #CityOfAngels
— Just Cory (@coryangen) February 16, 2021

Dude walking through fire with the powers of 1996 CGI is truly a sight to behold. #TheCrow #CityOfAngels
— Just Cory (@coryangen) February 16, 2021

He quotes the One For Sorrow poem and all I can think of is this @LosCampesinos! song. #TheCrow #CityOfAngels https://t.co/7Wou1MqWUY
— Just Cory (@coryangen) February 16, 2021

The ending makes no sense. Crows fly through him and make the other guy just disappear? This truly does just feel like a carbon copy of the original with worse ingredients. #TheCrow #CityOfAngels
— Just Cory (@coryangen) February 16, 2021

So Sarah's dead and he just rides his motorcycle off into the sunset and all of a sudden he's back with his dead son? What kind of resolution is that? #TheCrow #CityOfAngels
— Just Cory (@coryangen) February 16, 2021

Overall, The Crow: City of Angels gets a 5/10. It was pretty fun through the first 2/3 and it could've scored higher, but the last 20 minutes were just shit.
— Just Cory (@coryangen) February 16, 2021

Stay tuned because The Crow: Salvation is coming up next!
— Just Cory (@coryangen) February 16, 2021

The Crow: Salvation

Getting some shitty, late Halloween sequel vibes from these opening credits and that seems fitting. #TheCrowSalvation
— Just Cory (@coryangen) February 16, 2021

He's executed by electric chair. Was that a thing they still did in 2000? And the Scar Artist showed up! We didn't see his face, but he's wearing a suit… #TheCrowSalvation
— Just Cory (@coryangen) February 16, 2021

He gets his scars from the execution mask that fused to his face because there was a lightning strike just as they flipped the switch. The mask was cooler. He looked like Mankind (pre-Mr Socko). #TheCrowSalvation
— Just Cory (@coryangen) February 16, 2021

Apparently these scars make him completely indistinguishable to Kirsten Dunst's character who just saw him giving a soliloquy in the electric chair like a few hours ago? #TheCrowSalvation
— Just Cory (@coryangen) February 16, 2021

The Scar Artist doesn't have a scar but is doing some crazy body modification. Also one of the goons was bribed to be a witness with a construction job paying TWELVE DOLLARS AN HOUR! In 2000!? #TheCrowSalvation #RaiseTheMinimumWage
— Just Cory (@coryangen) February 16, 2021

Baby Walton Goggins and the dude from White Collar are some of the dirty cops. The soundtrack has gotten slightly more industrial, but still not great. #TheCrowSalvation
— Just Cory (@coryangen) February 16, 2021

The dialogue, while still very cheesy, is much better in this one. The action/stunts are still not great. Can a car cigarette lighter (member those?) ignite a pool of gasoline? Why am I questioning the real-life physics here? #TheCrowSalvation
— Just Cory (@coryangen) February 16, 2021

A mysterious woman shows up an hour in and seems to be running the show? She's pulling the strings of the evil police chief played by Not Kevin Bacon from Tremors. #TheCrowSalvation
— Just Cory (@coryangen) February 16, 2021

Awww, the evil detectives just shared the flame of a lighter to light their cigarettes. And the one got impaled like Paris Hilton in that shitty House of Wax remake. #TheCrowSalvation
— Just Cory (@coryangen) February 17, 2021

So the Scar Artist was just one of the cops and we never get to see him alive, just his arm neatly severed after an explosion? That seems like some shitty closure. #TheCrowSalvation
— Just Cory (@coryangen) February 17, 2021

Dude started bleeding and shit before they figured out the bird was the source of his power and then when they shot at it, it acted dead but really wasn't. The crow was playing possum. #TheCrowSalvation
— Just Cory (@coryangen) February 17, 2021

Fred Ward is the Scar Artist! Pretty edgy for an older gentlemen. The obvious use of wires for the final action sequence wasn't great. #TheCrowSalvation
— Just Cory (@coryangen) February 17, 2021

Emo dudes with lines on their faces and girls in fishnets and shit-kicker boots. Those are the over-arching aesthetics of this whole series. #TheCrowSalvation
— Just Cory (@coryangen) February 17, 2021

Coming up next (but maybe not today), The Crow: Wicked Prayer!
— Just Cory (@coryangen) February 17, 2021

The Crow: Wicked Prayer

The ex-con/Crow is Edward Furlong (Terminator 2). His girlfriend is Emmanuelle Chriqui (Entourage). Her dad is Danny Trejo (general badass). The recognizable Satanists are David Boreanaz (Bones), Tara Reid (Van Wilder) & Tito Ortiz (UFC).

What a cast! #TheCrowWickedPrayer
— Just Cory (@coryangen) February 17, 2021

One of the other "Horseman" is Tank from The Matrix and it starts with him shooting a bunch of workers. Apparently his brothers were killed in the mine (Dozer being one of them, I imagine) and he too is upset. #TheCrowWickedPrayer
— Just Cory (@coryangen) February 17, 2021

Edward Furlong's first appearance features him giving a soliloquy to his dog and a scorpion he just finds on his chest as he wakes up. #TheCrowWickedPrayer
— Just Cory (@coryangen) February 17, 2021

The casino mockup sign has the name in all caps Papyrus. Lazy prop design! #TheCrowWickedPrayer
— Just Cory (@coryangen) February 17, 2021

Tara Reid just cut out Sloan's eyes and then ate them so now she has "the eyes of a shaman"? Booth (who I will henceforth refer to as Luke) cut out Furlong's heart, which then turned into dust. Heavy on the spiritual stuff out the gate with this one. #TheCrowWickedPrayer
— Just Cory (@coryangen) February 17, 2021

They're eating deviled eggs. That seems like pretty lame snack for a murderous cult. Then they party. #TheCrowWickedPrayer
— Just Cory (@coryangen) February 17, 2021

The man who killed Luke's dad, who was a preacher, then apparently became a preacher himself. The Horsemen interrupt a wedding and a whole Kill Bill situation unfolds. #TheCrowWickedPrayer
— Just Cory (@coryangen) February 17, 2021

His first revenge kill is with a friggin bug zapper in a bar fight and then there just happens to be a a crow outline burnt into the floor around the guy. Hands down, worst kill yet. #TheCrowWickedPrayer
— Just Cory (@coryangen) February 17, 2021

The Crow (his name is Jimmy) stopped Sloan from being attacked when they were younger and killed the other kid. That's what he did. Also that kid was the son of the guy who killed Luke's dad? Too many unnecessary connections… #TheCrowWickedPrayer
— Just Cory (@coryangen) February 17, 2021

The remaining Horsemen go to some kind of island-themed gala at the local event space. Tank starts picking off attendants with a fully-automatic gun while Tito Ortiz destroys the sets with a baseball bat. Bold strategy, Cotton. #TheCrowWickedPrayer
— Just Cory (@coryangen) February 17, 2021

Yep, Tank shooting into a group of people singing "10 Little Indians" and the only black character I've seen so far is the mortician who is only there as the comic relief. Definitely not racist at all… #TheCrowWickedPrayer
— Just Cory (@coryangen) February 17, 2021

"So what's gonna be, homie? You wanna be Satan or what?" — Dennis Hopper as El Niño #TheCrowWickedPrayer
— Just Cory (@coryangen) February 17, 2021

Speaking of questionable naming conventions, the main characters last names: Draven, Corvus, Corvis, Cuervo. (Corvus is the genus name for crows & ravens and cuervo is crow in Spanish). #TheCrowWickedPrayer
— Just Cory (@coryangen) February 17, 2021

So far, Danny Trejo has been the LEAST bad ass I've ever seen him. Very disappointing. #TheCrowWickedPrayer
— Just Cory (@coryangen) February 17, 2021

The only way you'd know Luke Booth is Satan is because he's said it and every once in a while they give his voice that super deep effect. And he just said "You're a fart in my gas pump." wtf does that even mean? I figured the devil would have better burns. #TheCrowWickedPrayer
— Just Cory (@coryangen) February 17, 2021

So the sun came up and all that happened to Tara Reid is that her eyes bled a little bit, so she put on sunglasses and started praying the Hail Mary. Danny Trejo tried to shoot her but the other cop just arrested her. Lame. #TheCrowWickedPrayer
— Just Cory (@coryangen) February 17, 2021

Overall, The Crow: Wicked Prayer gets a 2/10.

A mess of a story, very stupid motives, not much character development in anyone let alone the titular character. Definitely the worst of the series.
— Just Cory (@coryangen) February 17, 2021

That's it for The Crow sequels! I still have 22 episodes of the TV series The Crow: Stairway to Heaven that I'll start later this week. Probably won't live tweet (all of) those, but I'll definitely be providing my thoughts. If you read any of this, I applaud you.
— Just Cory (@coryangen) February 17, 2021

The Crow: Stairway To Heaven

The casting is pretty great. Mark Dacascos as Eric is solid and girl they got to play Sarah is damn near perfect. #TheCrowStairwayToHeaven
— Just Cory (@coryangen) March 21, 2023

The facial markings are some kind of scarring instead of makeup (like in some of the sequels). I don’t hate it, but it was one of humanizing aspects to Eric in the original movie. I’ll have to read the graphic novel again to know what it really was. #TheCrow #StairwayToHeaven
— Just Cory (@coryangen) March 21, 2023

Okay, so the facial markings aren’t permanent? They seem to come and go as he gets angsty? That’s a new take. #TheCrow #StairwayToHeaven
— Just Cory (@coryangen) March 21, 2023

The soundtrack is nearly as good so far. #TheCrow #StairwayToHeaven
— Just Cory (@coryangen) March 21, 2023

So the first episode is basically the whole movie except that Eric doesn’t die and he collects all of Top Dollar’s trophies from other murders. So I’m guessing the series will be him avenging those people, too? #TheCrow #StairwayToHeaven
— Just Cory (@coryangen) March 21, 2023

I’m gonna try to not live tweet all 22 episodes, but it felt right for the first one. Even after only one episode, I can see how they tried to make this into a series. We’ll see how it goes. #TheCrow #StairwayToHeaven
— Just Cory (@coryangen) March 21, 2023

After a few more episodes of Stairway to Heaven, here are some thoughts: The series goes on with Eric using The Crow to help other people who are victims of crimes. It's a decent way to continue the series, but it's a little too light hearted for what the source material is. https://t.co/IAzaO6U6g3
— Just Cory (@coryangen) March 23, 2023

The acting is pretty cheesy (especially from the bad guys) and they can't really seem to nail down a location but I think it's somewhere in the PNW? Eric in the movie was a little smug, but this one is crackin' wise like the 90's cartoon Spider-Man. #StairwayToHeaven
— Just Cory (@coryangen) March 23, 2023

Halloweens

Nightmares on Elm Street